Sometimes, we all want to be that popular kid, the one with all the friends.
I've never been that kid.
I've never been that adult.
Sure I have friends.
But do they know the real me?
Would they still like me if they knew all my dark little secrets?
My dark little sins?
My dark big sins?
Would they be embarrassed of me?
Would they stand by me if they knew what I really believe?
What I really think?
Who I really am?
What's the make-up of my being?
What am I made of?
Sugar and spice and everything nice?
What are my values and what does that say about me as a person?
As a Christian?
As a mother?
As a wife?
As a daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD?
As a friend.
As a follower.
I don't know the answer, exactly.
But I know my Father does.
He loves me no matter what.
And He knows EVERYTHING.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Behold, I stand at the door and knock...
Have you ever heard the saying, "Whenever one door closes, another one opens"?
Its usually when someone has lost something they cherished, or needed, or wanted.
And most times, it really doesn't feel like there's any other doors open, just swinging in the breeze. Its usually hindsight that lets us see the door that opened for us. And I know sometimes that door doesn't open right away. Sometimes God makes us squirm a little.
Is it to test our faith? Maybe. Or maybe the door can't be opened until exactly the right time for God's magic to work in your life the way He intends. Or maybe its a little of both.
But have you ever experienced multiple doors opening all at the same time?
Just hanging there, swinging in the breeze?
Just pick one.
I wish I could read the ending. You know, the multiple ending kind of book -where you can see how the different choices turned out for the main character- and then pick which one you like best?
Wouldn't that be easy..
But maybe...
...maybe it would ruin the adventure.
Its usually when someone has lost something they cherished, or needed, or wanted.
And most times, it really doesn't feel like there's any other doors open, just swinging in the breeze. Its usually hindsight that lets us see the door that opened for us. And I know sometimes that door doesn't open right away. Sometimes God makes us squirm a little.
Is it to test our faith? Maybe. Or maybe the door can't be opened until exactly the right time for God's magic to work in your life the way He intends. Or maybe its a little of both.
But have you ever experienced multiple doors opening all at the same time?
Just hanging there, swinging in the breeze?
Just pick one.
I wish I could read the ending. You know, the multiple ending kind of book -where you can see how the different choices turned out for the main character- and then pick which one you like best?
Wouldn't that be easy..
But maybe...
...maybe it would ruin the adventure.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Yours, Mine, and Theirs
I used to dream about you...
What you'd be like, how awesome you'd be, all the stuff you'd do.
Sometimes I'd imagine what it would be like if you had a time machine,
And you could come back and visit me and tell me what to do,
And what to be, to turn into you.
I thought you were going to be so successful, wealthy, beautiful, together.
I really though you'd have it so much more together than you do.
I thought you'd have everything figured out; life, relationships, fame, glamour, all of it.
But you don't.
I'm so disappointed.
You are nothing like I thought you'd be.
You don't even know what you're doing.
What are you doing?
Its been all these years and what have you accomplished?
When you look in the mirror, who's face do you see?
Is it ours?
Is it someone else's completely?
I don't think I even recognize you anymore,
From who I thought you'd be.
Don't get me wrong, there's some good things about you,
Things I admire a little, things I never even thought about back then.
Some of those good things are concepts I never even dreamed about,
Or knew about.
I think many people think this about you and all the others just like you.
But they forget.
They forget how they thought 'theirs' would be,
What theirs would be like.
And once they meet theirs, they can't remember who they thought it would be.
They're too busy to remember theirs,
Or perhaps, too ashamed.
They too, are so disappointed.
But maybe it will turn out.
Maybe who I thought you were, was a little too shallow,
A little too greedy,
A little too selfish.
I think you were pretty wrapped up in yourself actually,
With all the fame and the glory going to yourself.
Maybe I'm glad you didn't turn out like I thought.
Maybe, if you had, I wouldn't like you at all.
But I look to the next phase,
The next "you".
Again, you seem so much better than this one.
The new version.
And this one really does have it together.
This one, knows what's going on.
This one, is real.
This one, is the way its going to be.
This one, is the real you,
The one I always wanted you to become,
But better,
Refined,
Redefined,
Revised,
Reconciled,
Recycled,
Remade,
Recast,
Redeemed.
The one my Father meant for me to be.
Because that's the only one that really matters
To me.
What you'd be like, how awesome you'd be, all the stuff you'd do.
Sometimes I'd imagine what it would be like if you had a time machine,
And you could come back and visit me and tell me what to do,
And what to be, to turn into you.
I thought you were going to be so successful, wealthy, beautiful, together.
I really though you'd have it so much more together than you do.
I thought you'd have everything figured out; life, relationships, fame, glamour, all of it.
But you don't.
I'm so disappointed.
You are nothing like I thought you'd be.
You don't even know what you're doing.
What are you doing?
Its been all these years and what have you accomplished?
When you look in the mirror, who's face do you see?
Is it ours?
Is it someone else's completely?
I don't think I even recognize you anymore,
From who I thought you'd be.
Don't get me wrong, there's some good things about you,
Things I admire a little, things I never even thought about back then.
Some of those good things are concepts I never even dreamed about,
Or knew about.
I think many people think this about you and all the others just like you.
But they forget.
They forget how they thought 'theirs' would be,
What theirs would be like.
And once they meet theirs, they can't remember who they thought it would be.
They're too busy to remember theirs,
Or perhaps, too ashamed.
They too, are so disappointed.
But maybe it will turn out.
Maybe who I thought you were, was a little too shallow,
A little too greedy,
A little too selfish.
I think you were pretty wrapped up in yourself actually,
With all the fame and the glory going to yourself.
Maybe I'm glad you didn't turn out like I thought.
Maybe, if you had, I wouldn't like you at all.
But I look to the next phase,
The next "you".
Again, you seem so much better than this one.
The new version.
And this one really does have it together.
This one, knows what's going on.
This one, is real.
This one, is the way its going to be.
This one, is the real you,
The one I always wanted you to become,
But better,
Refined,
Redefined,
Revised,
Reconciled,
Recycled,
Remade,
Recast,
Redeemed.
The one my Father meant for me to be.
Because that's the only one that really matters
To me.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Copy and Paste
We are what He has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works,which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life. Ephesians 2:10
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4: 5-6
Those who speak on their own seek their own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and there is nothing false in him. John 7:18
Lord, please let me be true to You.
Create in me a clean Heart
To be used for Your will for my life.
Show me Lord.
What is Your will?
How can I give You glory?
How can I honor and praise You?
Help me Lord,
Be with me always.
Give me the words I need
To help others
Encourage others
And love others
The way You have loved us.
Help me copy your word Lord, your holy commandments, your instructions, and then help me paste them into my life.
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4: 5-6
Those who speak on their own seek their own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and there is nothing false in him. John 7:18
Lord, please let me be true to You.
Create in me a clean Heart
To be used for Your will for my life.
Show me Lord.
What is Your will?
How can I give You glory?
How can I honor and praise You?
Help me Lord,
Be with me always.
Give me the words I need
To help others
Encourage others
And love others
The way You have loved us.
Help me copy your word Lord, your holy commandments, your instructions, and then help me paste them into my life.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
To my son on his 16th birthday:
Amazing!
I can't believe how fast you've grown from a sweet little boy into a man.
Watching you grow into a man was different somehow than watching your sister turn into a woman. Maybe because we women don't change as much.
But you have.
I used to have a hard time telling the two of you apart on the phone, but that only lasted for a short time. I remember when your shoes became bigger than mine, and I could no longer steal your old T-shirts.
I always thought you'd grow up to be just like your dad, for some reason. Able to fix any mechanical thing, strong as an ox, quiet, and reserved.
But you grew up more like me: curious, optimistic, compassionate and loving. You have many other qualities too. You have such a mature patience and peacefulness about you at such a young age. I have admired that in you for a long time now. It took me years to develop that peacefulness, and here, you just have it. I like to think that perhaps it rubbed off on you, but I know better. God gave it to you. He gave you some real gifts you can treasure. He gave you these things for reasons unknown to you or I, but in time, God will show you what they are for. I pray that you never develop any sense of fear in your life, so that you can live the life God called you to live.
So for your birthday, I pray that God will be with you forever, blessing you and prospering your work for His kingdom. I pray that His love will fill your heart, mind and soul, and that in everything you do, you feel the presence of God. I pray that God will be gracious to you and fill your life with His blessings and favor. And may His peace be with you forever. Amen.
I can't believe how fast you've grown from a sweet little boy into a man.
Watching you grow into a man was different somehow than watching your sister turn into a woman. Maybe because we women don't change as much.
But you have.
I used to have a hard time telling the two of you apart on the phone, but that only lasted for a short time. I remember when your shoes became bigger than mine, and I could no longer steal your old T-shirts.
I always thought you'd grow up to be just like your dad, for some reason. Able to fix any mechanical thing, strong as an ox, quiet, and reserved.
But you grew up more like me: curious, optimistic, compassionate and loving. You have many other qualities too. You have such a mature patience and peacefulness about you at such a young age. I have admired that in you for a long time now. It took me years to develop that peacefulness, and here, you just have it. I like to think that perhaps it rubbed off on you, but I know better. God gave it to you. He gave you some real gifts you can treasure. He gave you these things for reasons unknown to you or I, but in time, God will show you what they are for. I pray that you never develop any sense of fear in your life, so that you can live the life God called you to live.
So for your birthday, I pray that God will be with you forever, blessing you and prospering your work for His kingdom. I pray that His love will fill your heart, mind and soul, and that in everything you do, you feel the presence of God. I pray that God will be gracious to you and fill your life with His blessings and favor. And may His peace be with you forever. Amen.
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