I gave up my soda habit, my chiropractor has been telling me for years that diet Coke is evil for one's body, and to celebrate I sponsored a little girl from Guatemala.

(I have thought about it many times, its funny how God does these things. But I really felt that this was what I was supposed to do, and maybe its why God made me buy the book "Radical" by David Platt. Ever since I've read it, I've felt convicted to do more for God, and to listen to that still small voice in my heart. You know that voice? That small voice, the one that's barely audible because of all the commercials and pleas for you to spend your money on material things to make your life of ease even more comfortable. The small voice, that you almost need to meditate to hear, to go into a quiet place so you can hear it.)

I was on the Childfund website trying to pick a child, which is so difficult, all their beautiful little faces! Everytime I picked one, they had already been picked by someone else.

(That in itself is wonderful because it means many people have been sponsoring children recently. I wish we could all see how truly rich we are, compared to the rest of the world. For years I ignored the call to sponsor a child because I just didn't know if I could afford it, or I just didn't know if I really should, or I just didn't know which one of the sponsorship companies to pick. "You really want to me sacrifice some of my money for what??" )

So I just told God to pick for me, and started clicking until I got one that up for sponsorship. When I got the info about her this morning, it showed me that she and my son have the same birthday.

I thought, "That was pretty cool God! ", and in my brain I could hear, "See, I picked her out just for you."

So thank you God, thank you for your patience with me, and your never-ending love.
I love you too.

Where Am I Going?

Please excuse my previous absence, and the possible absence to follow.

God has been working in huge major ways in my life, and I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. I just haven't had any extra time to write, or even think about things of which to write.

I'll tell you all about it once it gets going beyond the point that it is. But for now all I can say is: Its huge, its crazy, and my life is never going to be the same.
I can't sleep at night, my stomach is fluttery, and its all I can think about.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Its a big hope, but it means a big future too. A future for generations.
As I leave you hanging, with my heart full of optimism and the love of the LORD, I bid you this: Pray unceasingly that the LORD will reveal His will for your life to you. Because when He does, its pretty dang amazing!

Supersheep!

This is an excerpt from a sermon I wrote, and had the chance to deliver to my church in June 2010.

We sometimes need to change our attitudes. Philippians 2 verses 3-5 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus"
I think that's a tall order for a regular human being. I think that we do tend to think of ourselves first. We've all heard the phrase, "looking out for number 1!" And by saying that we mean ourselves, and our families, and its usually said with an angry tone, or an arrogant one. Face it, sometimes, we don't want to be the sheep. Sometimes I don't want to be a timid, submissive sheep that can't take care of myself, walking around, being told what to do.
I want to be a warrior sheep!
A sheep that can tell you the way it is!
The way its going to be!
I want to be a Supersheep!
With a sword, and a cape, and a big letter "S" on my chest!
But God says NO. God says be humble. God says in Hebrews 10:30 "For we know him who said, 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' and again, 'The Lord will judge his people'." I don't get the sword, it's God's sword. I don't get to judge. That's God's job. I don't even get a cape. I just get instructions:
"Feed my sheep."
"Do unto others"
"Love thy neighbor"
"Love one another"

No sword, no cape, just love.
But its such an important job! And once you let love break down the boundaries in your heart, once you let God's love wash over you, taking away your sin, even the sins you don't think or know are sins, that's when God's light can really shine. That's when Jesus takes over your life and then, it can be lived for the will of God, and not yourself. When you give it up, is when you will live. That's what God tells us in Luke 9:24, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." This doesn't mean necessarily dying a physical death, but a spiritual one. You have to let go of yourself to make room for God. You have to trust in Him completely, and give yourself to Him completely.
'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.'
When you give yourself up to God, you allow Him to use you as He used Elijah, and so many other notable people in the Bible. It’s the people who did surrender their lives to Jesus, who gave themselves up, who were able to bring God glory.
And that's what its all about.

Being Used

As my 16 year old son and I were leaving Best Buy yesterday, we saw a young Asian woman lugging a dorm sized refrigerator by the packing straps across the sidewalk. She was tiny, and was struggling just to drag her purchase across the sidewalk. A young man in front of us asked if he could help her carry her item, she politely declined. I'm not sure why I asked when she had declined his offer, but I did anyway.
"Can we help you with that?"
I strained to make out what she said with her quiet voice, the accent was hard to understand. But she had accepted our offer to help.
I thought we'd help her carry it to her car. Turns out, she wanted us to help her get it to the bus stop.
We knew that the bus, if busy, would never take the fridge, and then what? She obviously wasn't "from around here".
I asked where she lived, NDSU, and offered to drive her there instead, We packed the fridge in my car and off we went.
We chatted a bit on the way. She is from China and is here to get her Ph.D. in something to do with molecular biology, anyway I think that's what she said. We talked about Fargo, and the United States, and how she thought it was strange that she could buy things that had been made in China cheaper here than she could back home, in China.
We carried her fridge into her dorm room for her. She thanked us and we left.
It was a fun experience. My son and I got to do the Lord's work, and it was great. She had commented about how nice people, including us, are in this part of the world. I made sure I told her that God always puts us in the right place at the right time. That's all I really said about God, but I knew He was there, and I knew that's the reason that we had left the store at the exact right time to help her.

She thanked us and we left.
But we left revived.
We left renewed.
We left with a smile in our hearts and a skip in our steps.
We had gotten to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Thanks God!

God,
You are so awesome!
So awe inspiring!

I was driving around the countryside in my work truck the other day. I was day dreaming, on a gravel road, probably only traveled by the people who lived on the only farm for two miles. A huge bald eagle flew past my windshield. I slammed on the brakes and stopped right in the middle of the road. This eagle hovered over my truck for a few seconds, then made a big loop around me, and flew off to the west. I saw another eagle in the distance, I assume its mate, and they flew gracefully through the air together. I came back to reality, and from the radio I heard Chris Tomlin singing,
"And I will rise when He calls my name,
No more sorrow, no more pain.
I will rise on eagles' wings,
Before my God,
Fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise."

I wish I could put into words how that felt, to know God was there with me, helping me with my troubled heart.

You are amazing, God!
Thank you for being my Father.
Thank you for being my Everything.

What would you do-oo-oo?

What would you do for a Klondike bar?
I'm not a big ice cream fan, so not much,
But what would you do for salvation?
For eternity?
For ever, and ever, and ever?
For your Father?
Your Creator?
Your Friend?

Great is thy faithfulness.

I had that song stuck in my head this morning and I wondered why.
Why the Lord of all Creation would care to know my name, would have any interest in me whatsoever. I'm just one person on a planet of billions of people. Successful people, brave people, courageous people, intelligent people, people with many resources and influence. I have very little of these things in comparison, but yet I feel Him calling out my name. Calling to me, out of all those people.

Great is thy faithfulness.
I only pray that my faithfulness will prove to be as such.

Ex-communication?

I enjoy Facebook.
I can communicate with those hundred or so people I just don't see as often as I'd like to. I have made some new friends, and found family members who have moved away. Its a great tool to stay connected in a busy world.
But for some, its still a popularity contest, and for others, a vehicle to spread the word for their causes and groups. Its a great way to ask for prayers or to spread good news and great joy.

I "liked" a group called, "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

I love that. Its a great illustration of the truth that so many people don't see. So many people claim to be things they aren't, and so many people seem to claim Christianity falsely. Some of these people do believe that what they are doing is for Jesus, but Jesus is love, and anything that is not love, is not Jesus. I think one of satan's best ploys is to disguise himself as a person doing God's work, and then get others to follow, down into the darkness of lies, anger, prejudice,and false teachings. Please, don't fall for the lies of the accuser!

Can anyone who spreads hate, fear and violence call themselves a Christian?
Can anyone who tries to exclude people from God's love and mercy call themselves a Christian?
Can anyone who oppresses others call themselves a Christian?
Can a Christian say who is "too far gone" to receive God's mercy?
No, when Jesus tells us in Matthew 7 not to judge, He is saying that we cannot judge anyone else's relationship with God. We cannot see within their heart, only God can, and that is why He, and only He, is the Judge. We have been warned not to judge, and told to love.

~Love, love love. That's what its all about.~

The Good News is for everyone, Christians and non-Christians alike. The Good News is that Jesus died for our sins, the sins of all men, and He is the one who decides who is and is not a true follower of His teachings. He decides who He will defend when we come in front of the Judge. And He says, in John 8:12 "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

So if anyone ever tells you that for some reason, you cannot receive the love and mercy that Christ gave you when He died on the Cross for your sins, call that accuser a liar, and walk away into the arms of the One who loves you.

Radiance

The Trinity

The brightest white orb, glowing, I couldn't even look directly at it. It was stark white, completely pure with no defects, yet somehow warm, emitting love, knowledge of all things, and secrets that it will never unveil, and a complete peacefulness that no one on earth has ever felt during conciousness. It's the essence of everything, of all existance, and I knew it as I existed in its presence. It could divide itself, into two or three, or probably more if it wanted to, but it didn't. It gave me the realization that every person on this earth has a tiny drop, or piece of it in their chest. We can't see it ourselves, but the orb can. The blazing orb, much brighter than the sun because it created the sun, dripped a tiny dot of itself into every person, into every soul as it entered a body. Even though it kept adding these tiny pieces to each body, it never lost any of its mass. It stayed the same size, no matter if it was one, or two, or three.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed.

That is true, to a certain degree. The orb is what can create or destroy energy, because it is the source of all energy. Trillions to the nth degree of megatons of energy. We don't have numbers big enough to describe how massive it is.

Its uncontainable!! Indescribable!!

The reason our ancestors, even before they knew about God, knew there was a higher power is because that tiny piece of the orb, the energy, is always wanting to go back to God. God is not a man, nor a woman. God is God. God is amazing. God is awesome.

I've been struggling to understand the Trinity for years. Trying to come up with some imagery to explain it, but I never could. Then one night, as I was falling asleep, I saw all this in my head, in my dreams, awake, yet asleep. I awoke with a strange understanding that this is how God is. I also saw that God doesn't send people to hell, they choose it. Hell is simply being without God. The piece of the orb is destroyed instead of being reabsorbed, because that person chose other things over God. The piece of the orb can't come back because it is defected, and the orb is perfect.
The orb is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  For ever and ever, Amen.

Insecurity

Sometimes, we all want to be that popular kid, the one with all the friends.
I've never been that kid.
I've never been that adult.
Sure I have friends.
But do they know the real me?
Would they still like me if they knew all my dark little secrets?
My dark little sins?
My dark big sins?
Would they be embarrassed of me?
Would they stand by me if they knew what I really believe?
What I really think?
Who I really am?
What's the make-up of my being?
What am I made of?
Sugar and spice and everything nice?
What are my values and what does that say about me as a person?
As a Christian?
As a mother?
As a wife?
As a daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD?
As a friend.
As a follower.

I don't know the answer, exactly.
But I know my Father does.
He loves me no matter what.
And He knows EVERYTHING.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock...

Have you ever heard the saying, "Whenever one door closes, another one opens"?
Its usually when someone has lost something they cherished, or needed, or wanted.
And most times, it really doesn't feel like there's any other doors open, just swinging in the breeze. Its usually hindsight that lets us see the door that opened for us. And I know sometimes that door doesn't open right away. Sometimes God makes us squirm a little.

Is it to test our faith? Maybe. Or maybe the door can't be opened until exactly the right time for God's magic to work in your life the way He intends. Or maybe its a little of both.
But have you ever experienced multiple doors opening all at the same time?
Just hanging there, swinging in the breeze?

Just pick one.

I wish I could read the ending. You know, the multiple ending kind of book -where you can see how the different choices turned out for the main character- and then pick which one you like best?
Wouldn't that be easy..
But maybe...
...maybe it would ruin the adventure.

Yours, Mine, and Theirs

I used to dream about you...
What you'd be like, how awesome you'd be, all the stuff you'd do.
Sometimes I'd imagine what it would be like if you had a time machine,
And you could come back and visit me and tell me what to do,
And what to be, to turn into you.
I thought you were going to be so successful, wealthy, beautiful, together.
I really though you'd have it so much more together than you do.
I thought you'd have everything figured out; life, relationships, fame, glamour, all of it.

But you don't.
I'm so disappointed.
You are nothing like I thought you'd be.
You don't even know what you're doing.
What are you doing?
Its been all these years and what have you accomplished?
When you look in the mirror, who's face do you see?
Is it ours?
Is it someone else's completely?
I don't think I even recognize you anymore,
From who I thought you'd be.

Don't get me wrong, there's some good things about you,
Things I admire a little, things I never even thought about back then.
Some of those good things are concepts I never even dreamed about,
Or knew about.
I think many people think this about you and all the others just like you.
But they forget.
They forget how they thought 'theirs' would be,
What theirs would be like.
And once they meet theirs, they can't remember who they thought it would be.
They're too busy to remember theirs,
Or perhaps, too ashamed.
They too, are so disappointed.

But maybe it will turn out.
Maybe who I thought you were, was a little too shallow,
A little too greedy,
A little too selfish.

I think you were pretty wrapped up in yourself actually,
With all the fame and the glory going to yourself.
Maybe I'm glad you didn't turn out like I thought.
Maybe, if you had, I wouldn't like you at all.

But I look to the next phase,
The next "you".
Again, you seem so much better than this one.
The new version.
And this one really does have it together.
This one, knows what's going on.
This one, is real.
This one, is the way its going to be.
This one, is the real you,
The one I always wanted you to become,
But better,
Refined,
Redefined,
Revised,
Reconciled,
Recycled,
Remade,
Recast,
Redeemed.
The one my Father meant for me to be.
Because that's the only one that really matters
To me.

Copy and Paste

We are what He has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works,which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life. Ephesians 2:10

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4: 5-6

Those who speak on their own seek their own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and there is nothing false in him. John 7:18

Lord, please let me be true to You.
Create in me a clean Heart
To be used for Your will for my life.
Show me Lord.
What is Your will?
How can I give You glory?
How can I honor and praise You?
Help me Lord,
Be with me always.
Give me the words I need
To help others
Encourage others
And love others
The way You have loved us.

Help me copy your word Lord, your holy commandments, your instructions, and then help me paste them into my life.

To my son on his 16th birthday:

Amazing!
I can't believe how fast you've grown from a sweet little boy into a man.
Watching you grow into a man was different somehow than watching your sister turn into a woman. Maybe because we women don't change as much.
But you have.
I used to have a hard time telling the two of you apart on the phone, but that only lasted for a short time. I remember when your shoes became bigger than mine, and I could no longer steal your old T-shirts.
I always thought you'd grow up to be just like your dad, for some reason. Able to fix any mechanical thing, strong as an ox, quiet, and reserved.
But you grew up more like me: curious, optimistic, compassionate and loving. You have many other qualities too. You have such a mature patience and peacefulness about you at such a young age. I have admired that in you for a long time now. It took me years to develop that peacefulness, and here, you just have it. I like to think that perhaps it rubbed off on you, but I know better. God gave it to you. He gave you some real gifts you can treasure. He gave you these things for reasons unknown to you or I, but in time, God will show you what they are for. I pray that you never develop any sense of fear in your life, so that you can live the life God called you to live.
So for your birthday, I pray that God will be with you forever, blessing you and prospering your work for His kingdom. I pray that His love will fill your heart, mind and soul, and that in everything you do, you feel the presence of God. I pray that God will be gracious to you and fill your life with His blessings and favor. And may His peace be with you forever. Amen.

Shout it Out

Have you had God talk to you lately?



Sometimes its just a whisper,

Sometimes its just a word,

But sometimes, He gets right up in your face.



I had that happen.

Its awesome,

magical,

inspirational.



But sometimes,

its scary,

convicting,

and its the truth.



I know its the Truth.

But sometimes,

it hurts to hear it.



God is amazing.

God is love.

And God,

is my everything.

TIME OUT!!

"Too much to do, and too little time."
Have you heard that before? Perhaps even said it before?

Its just seems like the time flies by so quickly and then we wonder where it went.
Our children grow up right before our eyes.

~In the blink of an eye~

But why are we so busy?

I challenge you, this Sabbath day, to leave your watch on the dresser. Leave the cell phone turned off or in a pocket.
Don't check the time.
Don't even look at the clock.
Just go somewhere with your family. A park or even your backyard will work; somewhere outdoors, in nature. Just look at God's creation, all of it, which includes you by the way.
Just to spend one day with no schedule,
nowhere to go,
nowhere to be.
Just to be present.
I think that's what God wants,
For us to be present,
With Him.


"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." ~Carl Sandburg

Starts with a kiss

It started with a kiss,
The mocking.
The wounds.
The bleeding,
Congealing.
Swelling,
Scratched and scraped.
Bloodied and bruised.
Beaten beyond recognition
Blunt force trauma.

And He did it for me.

http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=eb799088ad2c7bbbaff6

Discontentment

I'm so disappointed.
Everywhere around me I hear people calling themselves Christians, and then trying to find loopholes to get them out of actually following the word of Jesus!
What's going on?
What is wrong with people nowdays?

Do you really think you can make up stuff about Jesus and He won't hear about it?
Do you think He's not going to care?
Do you think God made up all the rules just for Himself?
Do you really think you can get by with this?

God knows everything you do, say or think. He knows your heart, and he knows your sins.
He loves you so much, He died for you! But he's not going to let you make up your own rules.
It just doesn't work that way.

You can't say you love Jesus,
And then not love your neighbor!
Blind man!
Open your eyes and see the love of God,
Our Father,
In heaven,
Who loves us.

Who loves us all.

Look Into My Eyes

~And you will see, What you mean to me~

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way we expected.
Sometimes, the fork in the road just doesn't make sense.
Sometimes, the burden just feels too heavy to bear.
But then I remember the words of Matthew 11, 28-30,

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
For I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Thank you Lord, for your yoke,
I just don't want mine anymore.
Many times I've tried to give up my burdens,
But somehow, they manage to creep back into my life.
Lord, I pray that you will show me how
To live my life for you.
To Glorify You!
And only You!
I pray for guidance,
I pray for peace,
I pray for your will
For my life.
For everything I do, I do it for you.

I can hardly wait

Picture 030, originally uploaded by JeanneMaire.

Song of Solomon 2:12

Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.

I'm ready: ready for spring, ready for Easter, for the rebirth of the land. My joyful heart leaps in anticipation.

Coincidence? I don't think so...

Globally, there are more than 1 billion overweight adults, at least 300 million of them obese.

Globally, there are more than a billion people who are hungry, almost 16,000 children die each day. Thats one child who dies every 5 seconds.

A billion with too much, and a billion with not enough.

"There is enough for everybody's need, but not enough for everyone's greed" ~Mahatma Gandhi

Thin Places-my story

Today at church, our pastor gave an awesome sermon, as he always does. It was about "thin places", where the space between God and humans has "thinned out", where we can almost see Him through the veil of time and space, and whatever else is in the way. It made me remember a dream I had a long time ago, a dream I think of often, but today I was able to see, that it was a "thin place".

My grandfather was a wonderful man. Grandpa Hinders was a Christian, but that's not saying enough about his faith. He was a man who ate, slept and breathed the words of God. He talked about Jesus constantly, and lived his life the way God tells us to live. He was the MOST Christian person I have ever met. He is the one who shaped my faith, more than anyone else could ever do, and has ever done.
My Grandpa had a love for gardening that I inherited. I love growing everything, as did he. He was a farmer, a hunter, a trapper, a self-sustaining person who could do anything. My Grandpa's garden was surrounded by these beautiful hollyhocks. He loved hollyhocks.

My dad wasn't much of a father figure for me.   My Grandpa was my father figure, only I didn't know it then. He was the one who taught me about life, what was important, what wasn't, and how people need to live and act if they want to have Jesus in their lives. If I could have, I would have lived there. Grandpa told me stories, sang hymns to me, played games with me, and showed me I was loved. And I loved him so much.
Grandpa died when I was 17. He suffered for years before that though, a series of strokes left him an empty shell, and it was so hard for me, I couldn't even go to the hospital to see him. It was terrible, Grandpa was such a God-fearing man, why would God have him suffer that way? Maybe I blamed God, maybe it was just too hard of a blow for me, but I seldom went to church after that. I think when I lost Grandpa, I lost the way. I mean, I still believed in God, but just believing in God doesn't get you into heaven. It would have broke Grandpa's heart to know that's how it ended up for me.

I'm not sure how long it was after Grandpa's death, but I had this dream:

I was sitting on a set of bleachers, like at a 4-H camp, or a small rodeo type setting at a county fair. The bleachers went almost all the way around a small gravel lot, in a circle. I was there alone, it was totally silent. There was a slight breeze maybe, I don't remember, but it was a very lonely, desolate place. To my right there was an old country church; just a small white church, with a steeple and double doors. Then I heard my Grandpa's voice, singing to me like he always did. He was singing "The Old Rugged Cross" and it was beautiful. There was a light from inside shining through the cracks of the closed doors, like if you stared at the sun with no sunglasses. Somehow I knew he was dressed all in white. And I also knew that I was not allowed to come through the doors.
When I woke up, I felt very close to my Grandpa again, like maybe God had let him show me this so I would know that Grandpa hadn't been "forsaken", that all was well, and Grandpa was with God, and praising God, and loving God. It was as though the doors of that church hid the entrance to heaven, and I wasn't even allowed to see the pearly gates, and I knew better than to try. But I know God was there, in that church, and He was showing me all this for a reason. Soon after, my faith was renewed, and I have been growing in faith ever since.

The years passed, and we moved to a different house. I worked to turn the overgrown yard into something beautiful. There were no hollyhocks though, well, not until a couple years after we moved in. Even though I had never planted any, and I had forgotten all about the hollyhocks at Grandpa's place, they started to sprout everywhere. They grew by my house, in my flower garden, in the lawn, and in every crack and crevice in my sidewalk. Now this isn't a bird dropping a lone seed in my yard, this is like someone planting packets upon packets of seeds in my yard. When my mom came to visit, she had tears in her eyes, as she said they must be from Grandpa, there's no other explanation. They grow to this day, everywhere. I have to thin them out. But every year, I always let some of them grow, they remind me of Grandpa. They are the tallest hollyhocks I have ever seen, and I always get at least one that is snow white.

I think God does work in mysterious ways. I think there are questions out there that we will never know the answers to. I have no idea why some people suffer and others don't, and I won't pretend to have the answer. But I do know that as my relationship with God has turned into a true Father/daughter relationship, I have my Grandpa to thank. Thank you Grandpa, for introducing me to my real Father, because now, I have everything.

The First Day

My Jesus,
You have taught me.
You have listened.
You have caught my tears in your hands.
My Father,
You have always been there for me.
You have always held my hand, my hopes, my heart.
I thank you Father,
For opening my eyes to Your grace,
To see the world through Your eyes.
To hear Your word with new understanding.

To You, dear Father, I sing
"Hallelujah! Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty!"
But I sing in a new way,
Through a new understanding,
A new understanding of You.
Revised.
A realization that
You are Love,
Completely and undeniably,
Love.
And anything
that is not Love
Is not
You.